RESOLUTIONS
It's right about now (typically the second week in February) that about 80% of us have given up on our New Years' resolutions.
It's okay- it is not too late. One of the four main "ingredients" from my book, The Recipe for Real Happiness, is #3: "Live in Learning Mode," and it's great for helping you refocus on your goals.
I wrote about how important it is to learn from the past: You have probably had your goal (among others) on your list for years. I know because I did the same thing.
I had "meditate and live mindfully" on my New Years' resolution list every year for many years. But… it wasn't until I developed the simple habit of sitting in stillness for 5 minutes every morning that I finally achieved my goal (that overall sense of calmness).
The truth is the difficulty of your objective isn't nearly as important as developing the habits that allow you to achieve that goal. Intentions are great, but unless you start doing things differently and have a plan …a goal is just a wish, and your chances for success are slim.
So, let's fix that by setting yourself up for success!
If you want to start eating healthier, get rid of the junk (or at least keep it out of your constant view) and create a weekly menu!
If exercise is your goal, have a specific workout plan: 20 sit-ups, 20 push-ups, etc., and lay out your workout clothes and sneakers the night before.
If your goal is to stop overreacting, put a reminder on your wrist to breathe before reacting.
Use your knowledge of what may not have worked in the past to take charge of your life and create healthy habits that help you achieve your goals!
You can purchase my book: The Recipe for Real Happiness here on Amazon!!!
https://www.amazon.com/Recipe-Real-Happiness-Ingredients-Practices/dp/0692048944/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=the+recipe+for+real+happiness+melissa+garson&qid=1608835197&sr=8-1
Sending you so much love!
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THE RECIPE FOR REAL HAPPINESS!
For most of us, this has been and continues to be one of the most challenging years we have ever experienced.
So, what can we do to bring some happiness into our lives?
I am thrilled to share my book, The Recipe for Real Happiness – Four Simple Ingredients.
I have studied with world-renowned psychologists and researchers on the Science of Human Happiness to figure out - What makes people genuinely happy? In my book, I share what I have found to be the four main ingredients- Love, Gratitude, Mindfulness, and Learning.
1. Love- Living in love means making an on-going, conscious effort to acknowledge the good in yourself and others.
2. Gratitude- Living in gratitude is to intentionally appreciate the various people and experiences in your life, both positive AND negative.
3. Mindfulness- Living mindfully maintains a moment-by-moment awareness of your thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and the surrounding environment through a gentle, nurturing lens.
4. Learning- Living in learning means looking at life as a classroom and seeing challenges as opportunities for growth, resulting in greater confidence and resilience.
The book goes into detail, sharing the practices and techniques to implement in your daily life to achieve a sense of deep fulfillment and lasting joy!
You can purchase it here on Amazon!!!
https://www.amazon.com/Recipe-Real-Happiness-Ingredients-Practices/dp/0692048944/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=the+recipe+for+real+happiness+melissa+garson&qid=1608835197&sr=8-1
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GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD AND INTO YOUR BED!
So many people I’ve spoken with lately have mentioned their inability to get a good night sleep. I totally get it—I’ve had trouble, too.
My issue is that when I wake up in the middle of the night, I often have a hard time falling back to sleep. I wind up on the thought train…and it’s downhill from there. I start thinking about one thing, which leads to another, and before I know it my mind goes in 5,000 directions. If the thought is upsetting me, I can actually feel my heart start racing.
The solution? Soothe yourself back to sleep by consciously relaxing. Here's how: Close your eyes and take a long, smooth, slow breath in through your nose (count 1,2,3), hold it for 3 and then exhale back out of your nose (1,2,3), counting slowly on both the inhale and the exhale. Do this 3 times. Then do a simple body scan to relax every part of your body. Feel and visualize your head and the rest of your body sinking into the bed. Then, consciously relax every part starting with your feet and slowly progressing up to your legs, torso, shoulders, arms, neck—until you reach the top of your head.
As you’re doing this exercise your attention may wander, and that's okay. When it does, acknowledge it, and gently bring your focus back to a specific body part. When you’ve reached your head, spend a few moments noticing how much more relaxed your entire body feels.
This should help you get out of your head, get into your bed and relax you for a beautiful sleep.
With so much love, appreciation and many a good nights' sleep!
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THE EYES HAVE IT!
“A smile goes a long way”. That statement is true now more than ever! You are probably thinking: We’ve been wearing masks for 10 months and no one outside our homes can see us smile. That’s true…BUT…we can still express joy through our eyes.
The eyes are truly the “windows into a person’s soul”. Similar to body language, our eyes can express our feelings. And when you’re smiling—even under a mask—your eyes can reveal that happiness, and maybe make others happy too.
But smiling doesn’t only cheer up those around you, it elicits a powerful chemical reaction in the brain that makes you feel happier. Science has shown that the simple act of smiling can lift your mood, lower stress, boost your immune system and, possibly, prolong your life.
Smiling at someone usually triggers them to smile back. I’ve noticed this pre-COVID and I am seeing it now as well, even while wearing my mask. So, try it out, smile under that mask—your smiling eyes may cheer others up and you’ll feel better, too!
With so much love, appreciation and SMILES!
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ORGANIZED HOME = ORGANIZED MIND
With all the time we’ve had at home, I’m sure you've done some purging and reorganizing.
However, I’ll bet there’s more to do.
The best way is to tackle one room at a time. Begin in a corner and make your way around the space touching everything—it's important that you pay attention to every item. Then make three piles: throw away, give away and sell. If something is broken, doesn’t fit, is missing a part, or you've decided you'll never use it, either throw it out, give it away (for someone else to enjoy), or sell it. Then organize that drawer or shelf or closet so that it’s pleasant to look at. I do this all the time; I love the clarity and simplicity of only having things I truly love or need.
Organizing may be hard for those of us who are more sentimental or worried about potentially needing the item one day. Just remember—less is more!—and in our world now, we can see how much less we actually need and use.
Clearing out your home is a huge step toward clearing out your mind!
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BEGIN AGAIN
Happy New Year!
I love fresh starts. And they’re actually one of the major benefits of living mindfully: Every day, every minute, every breath offers the opportunity to begin again!
If I can leave you with one thought on this first Monday in the new year – I would like for you to add BEGIN AGAIN to your mantra list. (If you don’t have a mantra list- begin one!)
We all face difficult situations and challenging times, but we must remember that we are not perfect. I know that I always try to be the best version of myself – and of course, I fall short, but I don’t beat myself up. I just tell myself “begin again”.
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It's A Wonderful Life
Whether we have large families or small, tons of friends, or a tight circle, this time of year can be difficult for many of us particularly THIS year.
I just re-watched the beloved classic, It’s A Wonderful Life. You know the story: George Bailey feels his life is worthless after a series of misfortunes and is about to give up until the angel Clarence points out all the good deeds and smart decisions George made over the years. George was reminded that he saved his younger brother from drowning and prevented the local pharmacist from accidentally poisoning a child. Clarence also showed George how dismal his family’s future would be without him.
After George realizes just how many friends and family members depend on him—and how much he loves them all, he is inspired to live, and Clarence gets his wings. The angel’s last words to George were, “No man is a failure who has friends.”
The quote was referring not just to financial wealth, of course, but to the richness that family and friends bring to our lives. The film is such a good reminder that no matter how awful 2020 has been, the love we give to and get from those closest to us makes our lives so rewarding and so worth living.
Wishing you all a very happy, healthy, and safe New Year!
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The Power of Yet
This is the time of year when we tend to look back and think about what we’ve accomplished. Perhaps you set goals or resolutions for 2020, which you may not have met yet.
The pandemic hit and turned our world upside down. Although it’s always important to be compassionate with ourselves—it’s especially important now. DON’T beat yourself up about not completing (or even starting) those goals! Just use yet when talking or thinking about what wasn’t achieved.
Yet turns everything around for us! When used by the voice in our heads or in conversation, that little word changes what may be negative or disappointing into something positive. You DO have the power and ability to accomplish what you may not have done—yet!
If you make even one New Year’s resolution for 2021, vow to start using yet in your thoughts, conversations, and general mindset. This will prevent you from feeling the burden of accomplishments that haven’t been met yet, which will free your mind and spirit. The word yet keeps the door open!!!
Sending you so much love,
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Questions Make a BIG Difference!
It’s such a crazy time in the world right now. So many of our close relationships have changed - maybe from our being together a little too much. . . or maybe not enough. Either way, strong connections, and positive communication remain really important, and focusing on them is one way to add extra happiness to our days RIGHT NOW!
I read an article recently that explained why asking someone “how was your day?” is really a “dead in the water” question. It’s more like an obligatory check-in versus an opportunity to communicate and get closer to your partner (or your kids).
Unless you want the answer to be “fine” or “okay”, be more specific. Choose a question that will encourage A deeper, more interesting, or maybe even fun response!
Questions to Ask Instead of: ‘How Was Your Day?’
1. What was the best part of your day?
2. Did anything surprise you today?
3. Did you hear or learn anything interesting today?
4. What did you do that was just for you today?
5. What do you wish you did more (or less) of today?
6. What made you laugh today?
7. Did anything make you feel frustrated today?
8. What are you most grateful for about your day?
9. What was the best conversation you had today?
10. Tell me three good things that happened to you today.
11. What inspired you the most today?
12. What is something you did today that you’d love to do every day?
13. Did you do something kind for anyone today?
14. If you could do any part of today over again, what would it be and why?
15. Did you feel appreciated today? If so, what were the circumstances?
Of course, you won’t ask all of these questions at once, but pick a couple in order to create a ritual each evening—perhaps as part of your dinner conversation. By asking meaningful questions you’ll feel more connected and possibly learn new things about each other! The more you incorporate more specific questions in your conversations, the more habitual they will become, and the stronger your relationships will be!
Have fun with it!
Let me know what question(s) you selected to start with (hopefully this evening).
I’d love to know how the conversation goes!
Sending you so much love…
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Routine is Essential!
Wow! I’m so excited about the positive feedback I’ve received from my Motivational Mondays’ reboot—thank you!
I asked what everyone has decided to commit to, and I’d love for you to keep me posted on how it’s all going! Remember, don’t beat yourself up if you fall off the wagon. Every minute is a new opportunity to begin again! It’s hard under normal circumstances to stay on task and keep up good habits, but these days it’s even more difficult. Our world has been turned upside down, but we need to keep moving forward!
Remember that your mind is conditioned by routine behavior. I see this first-hand while training my new puppy Zoe (how cute is she?!). But humans are no different. We need routines to help create healthy habits that last.
So…create a positive routine and support yourself in these 4 ways:
1. Take baby steps to set yourself up for success. For example, if you want to take a daily vitamin keep it in the same spot that you will see first thing in the morning. If you’re determined to cut back on sweets, get rid of them! If you’ve promised yourself to work out every morning, put out your exercise clothes the night before.
2. Commit to another day.
3. Commit to day three and keep congratulating yourself for your successes.
4. After 30 days, you have created a habit! Keep reminders around (photos, Post-Its) to encourage yourself to KEEP GOING.
Always be gentle with yourself. Life is not a race…it’s a journey.
Sending you so much love…
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JUST COMMIT!
Hi everyone, and happy Monday! What a year this has been...
I miss you and your responses to my Motivational Mondays. I took a break from sending them because I never want to bombard you and there has been SOOOOO much “stuff” out there.
I hope you are well and taking care of yourself physically (exercising, eating well, sleeping enough) as well as mentally (practicing being present and feeling in control of your emotions). It’s especially hard these days for all of us.
I loved hearing these words, “You don’t always need motivation, but you do need commitment.”
Think about that—you don’t always need motivation, but commitment will get you to where you want to be…and therefore help and support you achieve what you want!
I am committing to getting back to sending out my MMs because I love doing them and I hope you enjoy receiving them.
I’d love to know what you are going to commit to doing! Walking? Drinking more water? A simple 2-minute daily meditation?
Saying it out loud or writing it in an email 😂 can help you take responsibility and be more accountable. I want to help you do that. Please email me back and share what you want to commit to.
Sending you so much love!
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